As followers of Christ, we must not only honor our parents, but we must honor all men (1 Peter 2:17), for all those we know were created in the image of God. We don`t get an “exit” if our mother-in-law is abrasive or if our personality collides. Instead, we must rely on God`s abundant grace to love and honor the mother of our beloved husband (2 Corinthians 12:9). The Lord truly loves this. The marital relationship connects us in a new family, whether we like it or not. You can be happy with the mother-in-law God has given you. You connect easily and have formed a friendship. Or maybe your relationship with your in-laws is the most difficult relationship you have. There was a pattern of pain and insult that seems impossible to fix. Your mother-in-law may be far from the ideal person you imagined, but she is the mother of the man you love and have chosen before anyone else. It is God`s chosen choice to be your mother-in-law. The bonds that bind you together are probably the strongest earthly relationships you will have – marriage, children, grandchildren.
I was crucified with Christ. I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live it in faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. He walked out of the synagogue and entered Simon`s house. Simon`s mother-in-law was suffering from a high fever and they begged him for her. For the son dishonors the father, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; The enemies of a man are the men of his own house. While he was still talking to the people, behold, his mother and brothers stood outside and asked to be allowed to talk to him. But he replied to the man who said to him, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” And he reached out to his disciples and said, “Behold my mother and my brothers! For the one who does heavenly Father`s will is my brother, sister, and mother. The penis and the rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself shames his mother. Talking about your mother-in-law well will help promote harmony in the family rather than creating division by forcing your husband to choose sides.
Spending time with her shows that you appreciate her place in your family`s life. In fact, we show love to our husbands and strengthen our own marriages when we happily invest in a relationship with our mother-in-law. But as soon as I was engaged to her son, tensions arose. Ben and I had unique offers in different states, with an exchange that was tempting. Barb suggested that we wait another year to make the most of the opportunities. But Ben and I couldn`t imagine being separated for another year and were willing to give up the financial benefits of being together. It was my first realization that Barb and I didn`t always see things on an equal footing. And when Jesus entered Peter`s house, he saw his mother-in-law lying sick and feverish. He touched her hand, and the fever left her, and she got up and began to serve him.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law. Peace I leave you. I give you my peace. Not as the world exists, I give it to you. Don`t let your hearts be troubled, or let them be afraid. I am grateful to be able to call Barb not only my mother-in-law, but also a dear friend. The relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is notoriously difficult.
From TV sitcoms to mother-in-law jokes to Rebecca complaining to Isaac about her Hittite daughter-in-law (Genesis 27:46), we constantly see conflict, conflict, and division. In Exodus 20:12, the fifth commandment, God tells us to honor our mother and father. Even if your mother-in-law is not your own mother, she is still your husband`s mother. And since we become one in marriage to our husband, she should be honored as if she were our own mother. While we`re trying to be a peacemaker, we`re looking for ways to respect their preferences – maybe it`s a phone call to meet instead of text messages, or making room on the calendar for a family dinner. As we warmly welcome this new Mother into our lives, God will be faithful to give us the grace we need to navigate the turbulent waters of family relationships. He will be glorified when we bend over Him to continue to love and persecute our mother-in-law. That is why a man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife: “Cursed is the one who lies to his mother-in-law.” All the people should say, “Amen.” Our first visit together after my in-laws moved abroad revealed that the relationship might not click as naturally as I had assumed. Conversations were superficial, with deeper heart problems that were not shared. Expectations for vacations and extended family visits seemed heavy.
How many misunderstandings could have been avoided if I had taken longer to really get to know Barb? Now, to the one who is able to do much more than we ask or think, according to the power that acts in us, do not be afraid, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will support you with my right hand.
